Larry Rubin, Life Coach
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The Stumbles And Falls That Led Me To Success

5/22/2012

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I Could Have Been The Godfather!
That's right.

In the mid 70's, a very dear friend of mine who had parlayed his six-year NFL career and two Green Bay Packer Super Bowl rings into a small nest egg, asked my brother and me to be on the original Board of Directors of a start-up company he helped found. All that was required was a $1,000 investment and my/our assent. I thought about it, considered it, and refused "the offer I couldn't refuse." 

I simply did not think that a fast-food pizza joint could make it and passed up the opportunity to be one of the original founders and investors of Pizza Hut. Sigh...Oh my...Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda.

I sometimes think that I could have made Herman Cain an afterthought. (Actually, I think he already is.)

I admit that sometimes I do look back, but only to help me stay focused on looking ahead. I've learned to take risks, to take chances, to be innovative, to recognize opportunity...and to applaud it when I see it elsewhere. It all reminds me of a story that President Kennedy once told about a gardener who was once asked to plant a tree. The gardener objected that the tree was slow growing and would not bloom for a hundred years. Replied the owner of the estate, "In that case, there is no time to lose. Plant it this afternoon."

If You Build It, They Will Come
I learned my lesson before I saw the movie. It's ok to take a risk...if you think it through...if you do your own due diligence. I opened up an unconventional, "it-won't-work" coin laundromat. I initiated a "Ladies Day" at my less-than-desirably-located men's clothing store on a Monday before Christmas (my store was closed on all Mondays). Why would just women come to an ill-located area with limited parking to shop? 

Because they trusted us, because we had a Tuxedo-dressed doorman to walk them to their car, because we had wine and champagne, a handwriting analyst, a chair massage, a caricaturist, a latte coffee bar, a gift for every woman who came, and even a "Ladies Day" discount. That's why.

Save...By Spending More And Buying More
That's the new Costco slogan. And that's what we do, my wife and I. We spend more money there than at our usual trip to the grocery store by buying more than we need. Now there's a strategy. I've looked at those three unopened bottles of Heinz Ketchup in our pantry for six months now just waiting for their turn. I can almost hear them singing that famous Carly Simon song/commercial...ANTICIPATION.

Did we really think that people would pay in advance (way in advance, those same people pray) for "final expenses" or pay four dollars for a small amount of espresso mixed with a large amount of milk? (Give it a fancy name like "latte" and I sure do).

Yes.

It's all about creating memorable experiences, taking some risks and believing in yourself....and that's the agenda that many of my coaching clients bring to our sessions. We get actively engaged in these topics. Is there a fund raiser, anyone in sales, or someone who is interviewing or transitioning that shouldn't be armed with self-confidence, that shouldn't be willing to take a chance, or leave  a lasting and positive impression with their target?

No.

If only I would have had a Coach.

OK. I wouldn't be smelling the roses I smell every day now...but the aroma of the cheese and sauce and pepperoni. Hmmmmmm.

Which makes me think of the Professor:

A professor stood before his class of 20 senior organic biology students, about to hand out the final exam. "I know that you've worked hard in this course and that many of you are soon off to medical school. So that no one gets there QPA messed up because of excessive celebration this week, anyone who would like to opt out of this final today will receive a "B" for the course". With much rejoicing many students thanked the prof as they signed out on his offer and left. As the last taker left, the professor offered "one last chance" to those who remained. One more student rose up and took the offer. The professor then closed the door and took attendance of those students remaining.

"I'm glad to see you believe in yourself," he said. "You all have A's."

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The Two Most Important Words To Your Business

5/8/2012

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Underwear and Gratitude: Get It?
My two-year-old grandson loves picking out his 5-year-old brother's underwear every morning. He lives for it. It's the first thing he does after waking up. And what does he do after that, absolutely unprompted? He says "thank you" to his bro...for that privilege.

Kids...will they ever quit teaching us!
 
For over 30 years whenever a customer of my former business picked up a garment from our tailor shop, there was a substantive, handwritten personal thank you note from that customer's salesman placed inside the pocket. Every time. Every customer. It became our literal and figurative signature.

Now, many years later, when I run in to many of those same customers, they remind me about the warmth and sense of loyalty that those notes evoked.

Upon consideration, I take back the two above words "every time." Of all people, I, the owner, forgot to write one for someone who had been shopping at my store for 20 some years and who must have received dozens of these notes (each one different). He actually called me a few days later when putting the garment on because he "noticed" the absence of the note. "Larry", he exclaimed, "have I done anything to not deserve your thank you note?"
 
$20.00 = $200 million
A young couple I know starting a savings account from wedding gift money. They are taking up a 1/2 hour of this banker's time trying to decide if this is "their bank." The banker carefully and thoroughly explains all available options. He's patient, he's attentive, he listens...all of this for a paltry $20,000 for a bank that has a couple of  hundred million on deposit. The couple decides to sign. The banker handwrites a beautiful thank you note praising them for being so deliberate with their decision making process and congratulates them on the birth of their new son. 

Why does he remember? Why does he care? Because he understands that trust is more important than the details. Because he is good.
 
I coach fundraisers, retailers and all service providers, and anyone in career transition or just beginning their search on the never stated enough importance of the words THANK YOU...or other ways of expressing gratitude. Some of this note writing stuff is pretty darn basic...nothing pre-printed, personally addressed, personal salutation. Then we get a bit deeper...noting something specific about the past conversation, an attention getting PS, and, for fundraisers, emitting joy, enthusiasm and emotion. In training sessions, I have devoted up to an hour on this subject.
 
The Rabbi And The Toll-Taker
A few years ago, an extremely respected and affluent owner of a chain of stores in our community was asked to be the commencement speaker at a local university. He shared this personal experience:

Years earlier, he (we'll call him Mr. David) was in a car-ride discussion with his Rabbi about getting deeper into the religious part of his faith. The eager learner was driving and just shortly after he paid a toll taker, the rabbi said, "before you go any deeper into this study of our faith, you must learn the two most important words in any faith, 'thank you.' You did not thank that toll taker, who is a hard working human being!" Lesson learned, filed away, moving on.
 
Mr. David goes on with his graduation speech by relating that for the past few months he has been traveling often between Pittsburgh and Ohio as his new prototype "super store" is getting ready to open. On Grand Opening Day he addresses the staff and customers just before cutting the ribbon. After his eloquent welcome speech a woman approaches him and tells him what a"remarkable, kind, caring and deeply sensitive" man he is. Mr. David responds, embarrassingly,  "do I know you... how do you know me so well  to say such flattering things to me?" She responds by saying that "for the past many months I have been the toll taker you pay on the Turnpike. Every time you pay me you say "thank you" to me. No one does that. Clearly this is evidence of your unmatched character." 

WOW!
 
Two words: "thank you." They convey appreciation, respect and gratitude.
The message is in the details. That's my role.
 
A little girl approached a great concert violinist after his performance and asked him for his autograph. "I'm sorry", said the maestro, "but my hands are too tired from playing."

"My hands are tired, too,", said the little girl, "and they're tired from applauding."
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Finding Your Added Value

3/13/2012

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A New Business Opportunity....My Way
Years ago, in the 1980s, I was considering opening a laundromat. The company I researched was a franchise so many of the logistical decisions were inherently made by the franchisor, the parent company. Still, I had much flexibility when it came to the actual business decisions.
 
Many of those I lean on for advice, my "kitchen cabinet," advised me NOT to make the decision I eventually made. You see, I have a rigid personal inclination - some may call it a compulsion - to conduct business only through relationship cultivation and management.

It was simply contrary to my uncompromising mantra and instincts, and against every fiber of my being (at my age I really hate using that particular f-word) to open up a laundromat that didn't have a personality, a way to connect with customers, a feeling that this one laundromat, above all others, was homey, was someplace special.
 
Differentiating From The Competition
Conventional wisdom says that people are very goal oriented when it comes to washing and drying clothes...that they do not need to pay extra for bells and whistles (I did charge 10 cents a load more)...that they have a one track mind: to get in and get out, their chore completed.
 
Unconventional wisdom says that every customer that walks through the door, even the doors of a laundromat, is a relationship-waiting-to-happen. I invested more in my laundromat for specific, seemingly small things, like nice carpeting, a pool table, arcade games, "things" that I knew other competing laundromats strategically did not have. I invested in comfy sofas in a large living-room type atmosphere with a big screen TV. I envisioned people literally doing their laundry and hanging out. I called this mundane experience of washing clothes " having good clean fun."

Punctuating Your Signature 
The cherry on top of it all was my excellent staff, who were trained to help our customers carry their baskets of laundry to and from their cars, to help fold their laundry, and to wipe down each machine when one customer was done and the next one was ready to wash and dry. My staff smiled, made conversation and grew to know - by name and face - their regulars.
 
Business boomed.
 
I look back with so much fondness and warmth on my days in the laundromat business. I had a vision and goals. And I stayed tied to my message no matter what. Because business is about opportunities.
 
What Obstacles Are In Front Of You?
And it led directly to my decision to become a Life Coach. I now help people like you clarify their visions and goals, whether those goals are business or personal. I can help you decide when to stay on or off message and help you remove obstacles in your way.
 
That's what coaching is all about. That's what I do. That's how I help. My focus is on your vocational or personal well being, how to help you do your job better, how to attack specific challenges or struggles in front of you. My focus is on your agenda, an agenda that you set.
 
And just as any agenda or strategy can be refined and re-envisioned, so can yours. Which brings us to the blind man.

A Matter Of Perspective
He was sitting on the steps of a building with a hat by his feet and a sign that read: I AM BLIND, PLEASE HELP.

A woman walked by and stopped to observe. She saw that the blind man only had a few coins in his hat. She dropped in a couple of coins and, without asking his permission, took the sign and rewrote it. She returned the sign to the blind man and left.

That afternoon after work the woman returned to the blind man and noticed that his hat was overflowing with coins and bills. The blind man recognized her footsteps and asked if she was the one who had rewritten his sign, and if so, would she tell him what it now said.

The woman responded, "Nothing that is not true; I just wrote the message a little differently." She smiled and went on her way.

The new sign read: TODAY IS SPRING AND I CANNOT SEE IT 

Sometimes we need to change our strategy, because if we always do what we've always done, we'll always get what we've always got.
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Put Yourself In A Position To Make A Decision

2/28/2012

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One of my clients was recently at an impasse with his supervisor at work. They simply did not see eye-to-eye on a long-term issue. And while the disagreement could be shelved for the time being, it was bound to boil at some point. My client knew he simply could not bury his head in the sand and hope for the best.

While we were talking out the various options my client had and as he provided me with more and more background to this obstacle, he casually referenced a job opening in a different company. It paid more, the hours were better, and, at least on paper, the job description seemed ideally suited to him. I tried to probe further, but my client had a wall up about this issue. The timing wasn't right, it was a new environment, and a longer commute. In his mind, he was not applying for this job.

Now, as a life coach, my job is not to instruct or direct. It is not my place to advise him to look for other work. My job is to talk out your options with you and help you form an aggressive plan to overcome your challenges.

We continued to talk out his options, to figure out how to move past the clash of two divergent approaches. A week passed and, after an illuminating session, my client came to the conclusion that pursuing the new position was at least worth a shot. Let the chips fall where they may, but he's putting himself in a position to make a decision.

And that reminded me of Benny.

The Trouble With Opportunity Is That It Always Comes Disguised As Hard Work
A very close friend of my dad's, Benny, asked him to be on the lookout for a "good line" to sell on the road since he couldn't make ends meet on the men's underwear line he was currently peddling.

It just so happened that my Pops had heard of an opening with one of the most popular and best-selling sweater lines in the country. "University Sweaters" was interviewing the next day in Cleveland, which, in the early 50s, was a four-hour-drive from Benny's home in Pittsburgh.

My dad tells Benny about this OPPORTUNITY and Benny yells in response, "Jack, every salesman I know is applying for that job. I'll have to drive all night in the rain, wait in line to get in front of the president of University Sweaters (editor's note: that's how it was done in those days), and then hope that out of the 90 or so people in that line, he'll pick me. On top of that, after I don't get picked, I have to drive another four hours back home. No thanks!"

A Poem
Jones, beset by stress and strife
Begged this single boon of life:

"Give me half a chance!" Know what?
Half a chance was all he got!


A Salesman Is A Salesman Is A Salesman
Well, my dad was tough as nails, and he gave it to Benny. I mean, he ripped him a brand, spanking new one...something like this: "Benny, don't you ever again ask me for help. I tell you about this, the holy grail of lines, and you find every reason to say no. GO FIND YOUR OWN LINE!"

Embarrassed and humiliated, Benny gets in his car, drives the four hours in the rain through the night to Cleveland, stands in line for another couple of hours with about 70 other wet and cold aspirants with resumes in hand. Exhausted, soaked, and miserable, he hands his resume to the CEO who scans it, looks up, and says, "Mr. Stoff, your resume says that you sell underwear. The name of this company is University Sweaters. What do you know about sweaters?"

That was it for Benny. He was done, just too pissed and frustrated to go on with the interview. "I don't know a damned thing about sweaters. I don't know about yarns or dies or stitches or V-necks or Q necks. I probably don't know a medium from a large. All I can tell you is that I am a SALESMAN. That's all I do. I SELL. If the name of your company was University Hot Dogs, then I would sell your stupid hot dogs, and more of them than anyone else who has stood in line outside; if the name of your company was University Tires, I'd sell them, too. Because I am a SALESMAN, the best that will ever stand in line outside your door. Now, Mr. President of University Sweaters, I'm going back to Pittsburgh!"

As Benny was walking out, without even saying goodbye, he hears, "get your ass back in here and tell me when you can start!"

A Jack On Your Shoulder: Always Take Advantage Of The Possibilities In Front Of You
I think back to my dad's friend, Benny, often. As is always the case with good and true stories, there are several important lessons that Benny's tale demonstrated. Above all else, however, it is an exemplary case of knocking on every door no matter what. If you look for reasons why an opportunity is not ideal for you, you will certainly find them. You need a "Jack" on your shoulder to constantly remind you that opportunities barely knock audibly, let alone ring the doorbell incessantly. It's what professor Brian Wansink calls the Intelligence Trap where, "Intelligent people especially can figure out a rationalization for anything they want to believe." Benny – albeit inadvertently – seized an opportunity. The CEO recognized Benny's sales-purity and captured an opportunity of his own to hire the best salesman.

So as you proceed with in your professional and personal lives, I ask you to think hard about the possibilities in front of you before you pass up what could be an opportunity. Put yourself in a position to make a decision. Even if you get a little cold and wet in the process.

PS

Benny worked 40 years for University Sweaters. He was consistently their top salesman.

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    I help fundraisers, salespeople, clergypeople, and professional service providers create stronger relationships with their donors, customers, congregants, and clients. I'll help you build loyalty, repetition, and referrals so you can fully realize your business aspirations. 

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